Its the part no one talks about. Okay, maybe someone talks about it. I don’t know. But, they don’t in my friend group anyway. And my husband, God love him, doesn’t always get it. Because I mean really, all I have to do is keep two toddlers alive and keep the house from looking like a burglary. And ya know, maybe cook dinner on occasion. How hard can it be? This is how I feel most people perceive stay at home parenting. These people are not stay at home parents.
This morning, I found myself laying in my kitchen floor crying. Laying. In. My. Kitchen. Floor. Crying. Over spilled milk. Then crying because under my cabinets wasn’t very clean. At that moment I almost uttered the words “I hate being a mom.” but, I didn’t. I don’t hate being a mom. I just wish I had time away from it. I have friends who never go anywhere without their kids not even dates, and I want to salute them and give them a GIANT hug. If you’re one of those moms, here’s my hug to you.
The part of stay at home parenting no one talks about, is not liking it. If you don’t like it, you must not be a good mom because how could you NOT want to be home with them 24/7?? “They’re precious. They’re only young once. You’ll miss this one day.” Ya know what? Maybe one day I will. Today, I want to day drink and set sail. Today, I want to run away. Today, I’m tired of cleaning house and spilled milk. Today I’m tired of singing wheels on the bus and if I hear HOT DOG HOT DOG HOT DIGGITY DOG or however that song goes, I will break my TV. Which would suck, cause we only own one. Today, I’m tired. I just want out a few hours of not having to answer to mommy. The INSANE part of this is I feel SO GUILTY for even typing these words and I’m wondering if I should even be a mom right now. Or maybe I’m a bad mom for having these thoughts because certainly a good mom wouldn’t, right? Right? Does anyone else have these feelings like this? If all moms feel like this why aren’t we talking about it?
Why do we spend so much time trying to make our lives appear perfect and wonderful on Facebook? Why don’t we show real mom moments? Our house a mess, the crayon art on the wall, the nail polish our daughter found so she painted her whole arm to be “just like mommy”. And why aren’t we honest about our feelings. When was the last time when someone asked how you felt about being a stay at home you said anything other than “I love it. Its the best thing ever”. It is okay to not love it everyday. I think. I hope so. Otherwise I’m doing a bad job at this mom thing.